Chickengate

No amount of squeaky toys or tennis balls can persuade my dog to stay away from chewing items I consider completely off limits. He chews things that cause me to run away screaming.

When we moved to the country this behavior elevated. Not only did it happen more often, it got strange. One time I found him with a fish in his mouth. Another time it was the entire hindquarter of a deer. Then, months later, a rack of antlers.

My grandpa used to tell me a really gross story about a sly fox finding a chicken and consuming it voraciously leaving blood and feathers everywhere so that he could take a nice long nap. My grandpa was right. I think that fox is my dog.

My neighbor called and said something like, "Your BLEEP dog BLEEP BLEEP my chickens BLEEP dead chickens BLEEP BLEEP blood and feathers everywhere." Not a proud moment for us. Since we were out of town, my cousin had to go pick my bad dog up from my angry neighbor. He said it was hard to defend Arrow because there were feathers sticking out of his fur at all angles. A lot of feathers. It was as if he was planning on attending a costume party and wanted to dress as a chicken.

Not a proud moment.