The Iowa Way

"I'm trying to buy some straw to cover some grass seed I put down so I thought I would check to see if they sell it where we buy the chicken food," Mike whispered to me as he waited on the phone for someone at the farming supply store to answer.
"Hello?" a voice from the other end responded.
"I'm wondering if you sell straw," Mike asked.
"No, but Jim, who shops here, usually has some. Oh, he just walked in. I'll let you talk to him."
"Hello?" a loud second voice said.
"Do you sell straw?" Mike asked.
"I'm gonna have to let you talk to Charles again. I have a hearing aid and can't hear on these darn phones."
"Hello," the first voice said again.
"Can you ask Jim if he has straw for sell?" Mike asked.
"Hey Jim, do ya have any straw?" Charles shouted. "He says he does."
"Where can I get it?" Mike asked.
"Oh, it's in his barn."
"Okay. Where is his barn?"
"Well, ya take exit 70 south and turn in front of the old Imes Bridge. It's the only house on that road."
"Is there an address?"
"Hey Jim, ya got an address?"
"I ain't got no address. It's the only house."
"When will he be there so I can pick the straw up?" Mike asked.
"Oh, ya just drive your truck up to his barn. It's open. Load up how much ya want and leave the money in a jar."

And that is why raising your kids in Iowa is not such a bad idea.