Isn't there some unwritten law that a person should only defy death one way at a time? Because I would like to make a citizen's arrest. I saw a man riding a Harley. Riding a Harley is not bad, but, while placing his unhelmeted life on his death machine, he was also smoking.
First of all, how does a cigarette stay lit while being blasted by wind? Doesn't it blow out? Or, doesn't it - literally - blow out of a man's mouth and into the road? I experienced moped riding last year for the first time, and, while exhilarating, it was also quite windy. Things blew off of me all the time: my sunglasses, my headband, thirteen sacks of groceries I was trying to transport, my skirt. I don't want to talk about it. Admittedly, I raced that thing up to 25 mph, so the wind was quite strong. But, I have a feeling Mr. Harley was planning on going even faster. How does a measly cigarette stand a chance? I've seen the way people hold those in their lips. There must be another unspoken rule that, not being a smoker, I am unaware of. It must state that the cigarette should only barely touch the lips and only one millimeter of the cigarette is actually allowed to come in contact with saliva. When talking to someone in such a situation, it is impossible for me to tear my eyes away from the smoker's blatant dare to gravity. I just stare at the butt of the cigarette sitting precariously on the outer half of a lower lip and wait, with baited breath, hoping that it does, and then hoping that it does not fall to the ground. I'm torn.
That's not all though. This man, while placing his life on a death vehicle and simultaneously inhaling cancer, pulled out his cell phone and began texting. I nearly rolled down my window and yelled, "Excuse me! Both hands should be on your death machine at all times!" If I had his cell phone number, I would have texted him the phone number for the suicide prevention hotline. Clearly, he was looking to end it all.
What has this world come to?
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