And Furthermore...

Speaking of reacting violently when scared...

Usually, right before falling asleep, Mike and I discuss the crazy driving chaos of delivering four kids to four different schools. We divvy up the routes and plan our schedule of attack.

One night I was lying on my back with my hands folded behind my head, and Mike was lying on his side facing me while we discussed these morning issues. Unbeknownst to either of us, Emery, who was supposed to be sound asleep in her bed, entered the room and silently approached us. Since we didn't hear or see her or have the faintest idea she was there, she decided to alert us to her presence by tapping me on the shoulder. I have already admitted that when scared I become a wild ninja.

Thankfully, the voice of reason told me that the terrifying creature who had assaulted my shoulder was my small, innocent daughter. So, instead of pummeling her, I just screamed like a maniac, and reached the arm closest to her around her waist and held her tight. However, white-hot fury was racing through my body and needed an escape. Luckily, Mike was available for that.

Using the arm closest to Mike, I reached around his head, grabbed onto his ear, and yanked it violently back and forth, still screaming. Why did I grab his ear? It is just so grabbable. Since he still didn't know Emery was present and had no idea why his wife was suddenly screaming and attempting to rip his ear from his head, he yelled. Yelling scares me. So, I redoubled my efforts and screamed and yanked with renewed strength. Until the panic died down, and I realized the hilariousness of the situation. Then I began to laugh. Emery looked at me, quite confused. Mike, the whole right side of his head bright red and throbbing, looked at me like I had tripped over the edge of sanity.

Emery will probably never do that again.