Worst Voice Text Ever

Yes, my mother-in-law rides on motorcycles. She also wears ridiculous masks and attends the midnight premier of The Hobbit.

My son just turned sixteen and is a new driver. I have no words to explain adequately the paralyzing fear a parent experiences when their newly licensed child takes command of the car and drives away.

Josiah drove himself to a piano lesson from his motorcycle-riding, mask-wearing grandma. He arrived safely. But, as I was driving I witnessed a severe car accident on the interstate. Knowing Josiah was going to be driving on this very path in the near future, I took advantage of the completely stopped traffic to warn him via text message that traffic would be stop and go and to be oh so careful. I had visions in my head of Josiah driving at a ludicrous 70 mph, surprised by suddenly encountering an entire interstate of cars at a dead stop, and I can't talk about the rest of the vision.

Josiah responded to my text by asking if there was an alternate route he could take home so he could avoid the accident. I didn't think there was. He said surely there was another route. But traffic was beginning to move, so I began to voice text so I could focus on the stop and go pattern of driving I was going to endure for the foreseeable future. I voice texted him to ask his grandma if she had any ideas because she's good with directions. She's good with DIRECTIONS. And that, my friends, was when I sent the worst possible text in the history of communication to my teenage son.

Josiah showed the text to his grandma, who called me immediately.
"I can't believe I sent that text to Josiah!" I wailed.
"Well," she said, "I think you give me more credit than I deserve."