Reboot Torture

My husband and I recently watched a movie on Netflix called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Optimistic, I know. The guy in the movie has a good point. He says a lot of our health problems are due to the foods we eat. I already knew that, but hearing him say it for an hour and a half  made me a true believer. He put himself on a 60 day juice fast to reboot his system. After that time his body only really wanted nice healthy foods like salad and fish. I have never in my life eaten salad and fish because I PREFER it above all other foods.

"I want to do it," Mike said to me after the movie was over.
"Do what?"
"That sixty day juice fast."
"Whata heda huh??" I'm not eloquent under pressure.
"Will you do it with me?"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
"It would be a lot easier if we did it together."
"NO!"

But, somehow I ended up saying I would do it for ten days to help get him off to a good start. I like to think I did so because I am a good wife, but in reality I know it was due to some kind of Jedi mind trick he put on me. So, I pulled my Jack LaLanne Power Juicer out from its spot in the laundry room where it benefits our family by remaining out of sight. I went to the store and obtained all the green vegetables the guy in the movie made into some sort of drinkable shake. And I spent the next ten days of my life experimenting with making juice from things I don't even enjoy eating.

I drank spinach, kale, carrot juice, which made me want to scrape my tongue with my fingernails to remove the horrid. I tried spinach, cucumber, tomato. Who knew you could take perfectly gentle vegetables and turn them into something from your nightmares? The fruit juices were better, so I tried hiding a bit of spinach in some of those concoctions. That was drinkable, but only if you were starving. Which I was. Then I had Dr. Pepper because I figured it is probably just juice of the pepper in that can. Then I had oatmeal juice. That one wasn't juice per se so much as it was a cookie. Then I had chicken, which was just outright cheating. And then I just danced along the cheating path. My husband, though, is still going strong.

Will power, obviously, is not an area in which I excel.