Downton Abbey Distress

In a desperate attempt to stay up late, my sons joined me on the couch as I watched my ultimate favorite show, Downton Abbey. It was recorded, and I had been looking forward to watching it for days. I was giddy with excitement, but I paused the show to do a quick synopsis of the characters and plot for my boys.

"The cook is upset because the kitchen just got a mixer," I said, trying to explain Mrs. Patmore's surly demeanor.
"Oh no!" Drake mocked. "Not a mixer!"
"That's a plot twist if I ever heard one," Josiah said.

Not to be brought low by their negativity, I paused the show again to explain more vital information.
"The Dowager and Mrs. Crawley are both awesome to watch. They hate each other and totally go at it when they are together."
"They fight?" Drake asked, excited.
"Yes."
"Really?" Josiah asked.
"Yes, and their dialogue is priceless."
"Wait," Drake clarified, "they fight with dialogue?"
"Yes," I confirmed.
"Oh no! Not a word fight," Drake mocked again. "The drama! The violence!"
"Not words!" Josiah said. "It's like a sword fight. Without the S."

They are no longer invited.