Stunned Bird Triage

The animal kingdom must surely rue the day some smarty-pants invented glass. The invention of glass especially haunts the bird population.To a creature solely dependent upon the laws of nature and physics, glass must seem a mysterious, magical, and deadly phenomenon.

When we moved into the country, I spent the first several months running to investigate mysterious crashes only to find nothing broken, spilled, or even messy. The crashes were loud and often. And totally unobservable. Being a logical person, it took about a hundred crashes before I began to believe that our house was haunted.

Then, as I gazed contentedly out the window at my backyard, a delicate jay bird gracefully left his perch in my tree and sailed on the breeze directly into the window in front of my face. The gonging crash caused me to jump and scream, but also to finally solve the mystery of the incessant crashes plaguing my waking moments.

With extreme relief, I dialed my husband's phone number and told his voicemail, "We don't have ghosts! We have glass!" His relief was on the low side of epic, and I'm pretty sure it was due to a disbelief of my assessment. The ghost assessment and the bird assessment.

Until he walked into my bedroom holding a stunned bird.

"Guess what just happened?" he told me, as if I wasn't used to it.
"Let me guess. That bird crashed into a window."
"How did you know?" He asked, impressed.
"You wouldn't believe how often..." BOOM.

I couldn't finish my sentence because, literally, just then, a bird crashed into the window behind me.

I would like to thank the winged nation for showing my husband that I am a genius.