Furious Mad

I rarely ever see my husband furious mad. He gets frustrated, out-of-sorts, and sometimes, upset. But it takes an awful lot of really get him furious mad. Or just one puppy.

My dog is beautiful. That is really the problem. Even we who are used to his beauty have a hard time being anything other than mesmerized by him. He wields his stunning blue eyes like an invisibility cloak in the hands of Harry Potter.

But, inside that gorgeous, fluffy body lives a naughty, naughty puppy. It was inconsiderate of him to eat a steak right off of Josiah's plate, and shredding my glasses was just uncalled for. But the first time Mike was furious mad was when Arrow ate Mike's top of the line, no expense spared, 30 below, down filled, sleeping bag. He managed to scoot, while safely locked inside a secure dog crate, across the room to the stored camping supplies. Then he pawed at the sleeping bag until a bit of the fabric slid between the bars of his crate. The rest was easy. When I found him he was so covered with soft, fluffy feathers that I thought a polar bear was sitting in the dog crate. He had feathers in his ears, all over his tongue, and blowing out of his nose. The wind from his wagging tail kept the feathers dancing in the air, and my laundry room was transformed into a winter wonderland.

Mike was mad. I called him at work, and I was unsure of what he was saying but it went something like, "stupid dog...to the pound...why...box his ears...get rid of...so mad...throddle...bad...".

Then that cute puppy was even naughtier. I looked out my back window as I was making supper and saw him standing on top of the hot tub. I noticed right away that he had ripped the vinyl cover open and was eating the styrofoam that keeps the water nice and warm. Did I mention that the cover was new? I would just pop out and get a new one but the starting price is $400.

That did it. Mike was furious mad. He went out and got an electric fence. He put the collar on the dog and erected a barrier of warning flags around the hot tub. The idea is that the dog will not cross the flags due to a high pitched, annoying beep with an electric shock the collar produces when the dog approaches the off limits area. It beeps first to warn the dog, but, if the dog persists, the collar delivers a fur sizzling jolt. Ok, it is not that bad. The dog gets a small zap. But it is still annoying.

Mike worked with the dog training him to not go near the flags. Arrow did very well and learned quickly to avoid the flags. We thought.

Just after the training session, as Mike was returning to the house, Arrow walked nonchalantly to the flags. The collar began beeping, but Arrow kept walking. The collar beeped piercingly and relentlessly, but Arrow kept walking. Then it began zapping. Arrow kept walking. With the collar on full zap and utter beep, Arrow strutted to the hot tub, laid down right on top of it, and YAWNED! Yes yawned.

The electric fence device is now packed up in our closet and we know who is boss.